December 15, 2005 09:00 AM UTC

Give Us Money, Because You Are ALL Important

• 2 Comments
• by: Colorado Pols

Conservative blogger Clay Calhoun isn’t terribly enthusiastic about getting a note from Governor Bill Owens and a group called Colorado Alliance asking for money. Colorado Alliance is some sort of donor committee, of which Clay is a little skeptical of:

A year ago I would have been quickly behind such an organization. But a lot of things have changed in a year, and not the least of which is the apparent unwillingness of our sitting, elected statewide leaders — not to mention the Federal folks — to hold the tenants and principles of the GOP against the other side of the aisle.

Pretty simple.

After checking out the Colorado Alliance Web site, we’re not so much skeptical as amused. The logic is pure Herb Rubenstein. At Colorado Alliance, there are a bunch of links to different types of people who might be interested in donating money, such as ‘bankers’ or ‘sportsmen.’ Here’s where it gets funny. If you click on ‘bankers,’ you get this:

Bankers are an integral part of every community in Colorado.  From assisting families with the purchase of a home, to ensuring that business owners have the resources necessary to grow and prosper, the economic viability of our state is dependent on a healthy banking industry.

Coloradans must elect legislators and officials who will promote a balanced and sensible approach to banking regulations and practices that will protect the constituencies they serve.

Pretty straightforward, and pretty similar to what you get if you click on ‘sportsmen’:

Many Coloradans enjoy sporting and recreation activities including hunting, shooting, fishing and camping.  Advocates for these and other sporting activities encourage training and safety to cultivate outdoor recreational opportunities for responsible sportsmen and promote ethical behavior in the conduct of shooting sports.

Coloradans must elect legislators and officials who will create a unified pro-sportsmen’s agenda, support and uphold laws that recognize the right to carry firearms for self-protection and recreation, and will work to defeat anti-hunting and fishing legislation.

That’s nice that they really take care of everybody. Are you a short, bald person with bad breath?

“Short, bald people with bad breath are critical to Colorado’s future. We need to elect representatives who will stand up for short, bald people with bad breath.”

Do you like chicken wings, but only like to eat the drumsticks?

“People who like to eat drumsticks are critical to Colorado’s future. We need to elect representatives who will stand up for people who like to eat drumsticks.”

This is all really, very passionate.