July 05, 2007 05:20 AM UTC

The CDC and Emily Litella -- Separated at Birth

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• by: bpilgram

Proof that the real world is stranger than fiction …

Today’s Denver Post reports that Andrew Speaker does not have a drug resistant form of TB in spite of the CDC’s world-wide fire alarm.  The CDC’s isolation order for Speaker was the first one issued in 43 years and has involved an international man-hunt for Speaker and Congressional inquiries into why Speaker was not detained at the border.

http://www.denverpos…

You may recall that Speaker’s father-in-law works at the CDC as a microbiologist and is a TB expert.  Speaker is a personal injury lawyer.

http://www.denverpos…

What the hell is going on?

It kinda looks like the CDC is channeling Gilda Radner’s character, Emily Litella “Never Mind. …” 

………

Jane Curtin: And now a new addition to our Update team is correspondent Emily Litella with tonight’s commentary.  Well, Miss Litella – you’ve badgered us all for a long time and now you have a job. Welcome.

Emily Litella:  Oh, well, thank you, Jane. It’s very lovely to be part of a news team. Ah, tonight’s commentary is very important because I hear that President Ford wants to make Puerto Rico a steak! … Now, why does he have to make them a steak? I didn’t think those people even liked meat. … Now, let me warn all of you. If you make Puerto Rico a steak, the next thing they’ll want is a baked potato! With sour cream and chives and little tiny bacon bits and pieces of toast! And then they’ll probably want a salad bar! Why, they’ll be lined up for miles! If President Ford wants to be remembered as a great president in his final days, he should do something about the price of coffee! Not steak! It’s outrageous! I can’t believe what that man is doing–

Jane Curtin: Miss Litella.

Emily Litella: What? What?

Jane Curtin: Miss Litella, you’ve done it again. That’s not “steak.” President Ford wants to make Puerto Rico a state. Not a steak — a state.

Emily Litella: Ohhhhh. Well, I’m sorry.  Never mind. …