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May 03, 2023 04:03 PM UTC

Jesus And Heidi Ganahl Are Coming Back

  • 19 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

In a sequence of events eerily similar to her extended “podcast tour” of the state that was in actuality a stealth launch of her historically ill-fated campaign for governor, 2022 19-point loser Heidi Ganahl is holding an event this weekend to discuss her future plans, just a month or so into her latest podcast excursion “Unleashed with Heidi Ganahl.”

“We are and can make a positive impact for our kids.” We want to correct it as badly as you, but then it wouldn’t be an authentic Ganahl-ism! It will be three years before Ganahl has the opportunity to run for another statewide office unless she makes the unlikely decision to run for CU Regent At-Large again in 2024, and after helping drag the Republican ticket down to its worst defeat since most of us were born in last November’s election, there are plenty of fellow Republicans who would like nothing more than for Ganahl to just go away already.

But in the off chance you’re still interested in relitigating the 2020 election and ferreting out the furries–we’d laugh if it wasn’t the shared goal of the Colorado Republican Party’s new leadership–it looks like Heidi Ganahl will be coming back to oblige. Along with state party chairman Dave “Let’s Go Brandon” Williams, it’s all the proof voters need that Colorado Republicans have learned absolutely nothing from last year’s shellacking.

Democrats, on the other hand, should roll out the red carpet.

Comments

19 thoughts on “Jesus And Heidi Ganahl Are Coming Back

      1. Yes, and (male) judges will no longer be wearing robes. Looking at you, Justices Thomas, Roberts, Alito, Gorsuch, and Kavanaugh!

        And Flip Wilson will no longer be on late night re-runs doing "Geraldine", "Mrs. Doubtfire" will be banned, as will the entire "Madea____ franchise".

        All Shakespeare comedies featuring cross-dressing mistaken-identity plots will be banned. That would eliminate about a fifth of the canon's surviving 38 plays, which feature plots that revolve around young couples falling in love with someone whom they think is a different gender because of gender-bending cross-dressing.

        1. Also banned will be the movie "Victor, Victoria," which featured a woman playing a man playing a woman.

          I no longer recall the intricacies of the plot, without researching it. I do, however, recall that I enjoyed the movie.

           

  1. All these rat-wing assholes look virtually alike.

    Is there some demented rat-wing-asshole central-casting agency somewhere that sends these interchangeable washed-up old gasbags out on these cheesy grifting/rabble-rousing/gaslighting tours? Must be very lucrative, since there are so many old white angertainment hucksters out there inflaming and fleecing the rubes.

    1. "fleecing the rubes…." If you want to see a classic, fleecing movie, that starred the late and great George C. Scott, look on YouTube for "The Flim Flam Man." It came out, I think, in 1967.

  2. I assume Dippington P. McShit will be running for a local school board seat from which she can combat the out-of-control problem of "furries" in public schools.

  3. I’m not certain if there is a typo … can someone clarify?

    “In a sequence of events eerily similar to her extended “podcast tour” of the state that was in actuality a stealth lunch of her historically ill-fated campaign for governor.”

    2:30 on a Sunday afternoon does seem like a good time for a “stealth lunch”.

    And I’m hoping whatever discussion is held goes beyond “our kids” if those are in any way limited to the children of people who show up to the meeting in Lone Tree, CO. Whatever discussion is held, I hope someone is asking what the “positive impact” will be on the kids of Crowley County, Five Points, and all those whose parents are working gig economy jobs in ski resorts.

     

    1. We do recall there being a lunch at the launch, and there was lunch left over.

      In this case we meant "launch," and thank you.

  4. Regarding "It will be three years before G***hl has the opportunity to run for another statewide office" – seems to me she could run for the statewide CU Regent seat in 2024? I hope to Coach Prime she doesn't, of course!

  5. Goddamm Hidey, plagarizing Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy??

    (OK, he was a far deeper thinker than you, but . . .)

    “When the only skill life gives you is dogs, stick to making doggy-ade.”

    “Next steps? Maybe try, ‘Walk away’!? ‘Walk away’ would be good!”

  6. There is a shocking level of unawareness that comes with losing a statewide election by an embarrassing 19 points and then coming right back within months thinking that people want to hear more of what you have to say. It's like people like Heidi, Dave Williams, Tina Peters, etc. are incapable or unwilling to venture outside of their cozy bubbles of die-hard head-in-the-sand dupes cheering them on, to see what is actually going on in Colorado. Damn, come up for some air! What a massive disconnect. 

    1. Who said there are no second acts in American life?

      Both Ways Bob Beauprez came back from an 18-point loss to Bill Ritter in 2006 to lose to John Hickenlooper by only three points in 2014.

      Maybe Ganahl is hoping for the same.

  7. If Jesus existed, I can't imagine he'd come back for the 21st century shitshow.  As for Heidi, like a bad penny, she'll just keep coming back and be worth just as much to society.  I'd like to see the canines at Camp Bow Wow rise up 

  8. Brandon Williams and Hiedi Heidi together???

    Now that party unity! I would have pegged Williams for a Greg Lopez supporter. I guess this is outreach to what passes as the left wing of the Colorado GOP.

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