12 thoughts on “Thursday Open Thread”

1. An oldie but goodie – Jared going into space.

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2. Best be cautious out there today.  Seems to be a distinct lack of tolerance for April Fooling.

   March 31, 2021 at 8:02 a.m. MDT

   DETROIT — Volkswagen of America issued false statements this week saying it would change its brand name to “Voltswagen,” to stress its commitment to electric vehicles, only to reverse course Tuesday and admit that the supposed name change was a joke…..

   The fake release could land Volkswagen in trouble with U.S. securities regulators because its stock price rose nearly 5% on Tuesday, the day the bogus statement was officially issued. Investors of late have been responding positively to news of companies increasing electric vehicle production, swelling the value of shares of Tesla as well as of some EV startups.

   James Cox, who teaches corporate and securities law at Duke University, said the Securities and Exchange Commission should take action to deal with such misinformation, which can distort stock prices.

   “The whole market has gone crazy,” Cox said. “We need to throw a pretty clear line in the sand, I believe, about what is permissible and what isn’t permissible.”

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3. Today is National Atheist Day 

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   1. I don't believe it

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   2. As an agnostic, I doubt that.

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   3. An atheist, an agnostic, and a Catholic walk into a bar. A good time was had by all because we’re not judgemental assholes! 

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   4. Taoism: Shit happens.

      Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.

      Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.

      Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

      Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

      Hinduism: This shit happened before.

      Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.

      Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.

      T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit.

      Atheism: No shit.

      Jehova's Witness: Knock knock, shit happens.

      Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.

      Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.

      Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.

      Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.

      Existentialism: What is shit anyway?

      Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me. 
       

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      1. On Opening Day, let's add Dante Bichette to the list (unfortunately probably best suited as a designated hitter)

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      2. Unitarian Universalism: Shit flows down many valid paths. 
         Paganism: Shit with intention, and in various genders. 

         Also Paganism: Pagans shit in the woods.

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4. Who knew that God had a fleet of tugboats?!?

   Franklin Graham Credits God For Freeing Suez Ship

   “Did God lend a hand in freeing the Ever Given? After a week of blocking trade, on Monday a higher than normal tide brought on by an old-fashioned Super Moon helped to free the massive container ship. I read that this ship is 20x heavier than the Eiffel Tower! Now the backup of 300 cargo ships can resume passing through the Suez Canal. Thank you God.”

   – Franklin Graham, posting to his Facebook page.

    

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   1. Clearly God made this happen – here's why.

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   2. Who doesn’t secretly worship Apollo and Artemis (or some of the other solar/lunar deities)? . . .

      https://www.wral.com/how-the-sun-earth-and-moon-aligned-to-help-unblock-the-suez-canal/19603595/

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