CO-04 (Special Election) See Full Big Line

(R) Greg Lopez

(R) Trisha Calvarese

90%

10%

President (To Win Colorado) See Full Big Line

(D) Joe Biden*

(R) Donald Trump

80%

20%↓

CO-01 (Denver) See Full Big Line

(D) Diana DeGette*

90%

CO-02 (Boulder-ish) See Full Big Line

(D) Joe Neguse*

90%

CO-03 (West & Southern CO) See Full Big Line

(D) Adam Frisch

(R) Jeff Hurd

(R) Ron Hanks

40%

30%

20%

CO-04 (Northeast-ish Colorado) See Full Big Line

(R) Lauren Boebert

(R) Deborah Flora

(R) J. Sonnenberg

30%↑

15%↑

10%↓

CO-05 (Colorado Springs) See Full Big Line

(R) Dave Williams

(R) Jeff Crank

50%↓

50%↑

CO-06 (Aurora) See Full Big Line

(D) Jason Crow*

90%

CO-07 (Jefferson County) See Full Big Line

(D) Brittany Pettersen

85%↑

 

CO-08 (Northern Colo.) See Full Big Line

(D) Yadira Caraveo

(R) Gabe Evans

(R) Janak Joshi

60%↑

35%↓

30%↑

State Senate Majority See Full Big Line

DEMOCRATS

REPUBLICANS

80%

20%

State House Majority See Full Big Line

DEMOCRATS

REPUBLICANS

95%

5%

Generic selectors
Exact matches only
Search in title
Search in content
Post Type Selectors
December 20, 2009 08:45 AM UTC

Good humor and an internet hoax altogether. What's not to like?

  • 24 Comments
  • by: MADCO

( – promoted by Colorado Pols)

As far as I can tell there is no such thing as the Mensa Invitational- but some of these are pretty funny.

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,  alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply  a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a  hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider  web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

(Likewise- I don’t believe WaPo has anything like this, but it’s still funny.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v.. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has  been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline..

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by  proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

 

Tweet
Share

Comments

24 thoughts on “Good humor and an internet hoax altogether. What’s not to like?”

  1. I find your attempt at humor ironic in light of your prolific and legendary diatribes and name calling throughout most of your posts here on Colorado Pols.  

    “Merry Christmas to you too

    you misinformed, arrogant, nut job.”

    by: MADCO @ Fri Dec 18, 2009 at 09:15:55 AM MST  

    5. doesn’t get any less degenerate and nasty the more you repeat it. It’s been clearly explained to you the innocent circumstances around that juxtaposition, but you keep pushing the lie that allows you to continue playing the victim.  

      Your constant compulsion to be a shithead is beyond old and if you ever want your opinion on anything to be taken seriously, just stop this.  Take some time away from the blog and do some soul searching. Join back in with a new determination to take your dings like everybody else does at times, and cherish those moments when others agree with what you write.  Please.  

    6. Do you feel like Gracie or Lou Jerry?

      Perhaps Jerry’s kids?

      A) this was funny.

      F, U, N, N, Y

      You know, laugh at something that is surprising or ridiculous.  My sense of humor is not always ….mainstream or correct.

      But this was funny.

      Ignoranus

      That just kills.    I saw Howie Mandel live one time. It was some corporate event for a bunch of sales reps – he had some pretty funny moments.  But the whole hour set nothing, and I mean no thing, came even close to Ignoranus

      B)  D you know what Irony is?

      Irony (from the Ancient Greek meaning hypocrisy, deception, or feigned ignorance) is a situation, literary technique or rhetorical device, in which there is an incongruity, discordance or unintended connection that goes beyond the most evident meaning. It is the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite.

      See- what would be ironic, if my ripping your recent post apart was an attempt at humor, than this humorous posting might be ironic. Or if I had several failed attempts at humor, then this might be ironic.  

      Unless you just don’t find any of these funny- in which case you should seek professional comedic attention. I recommend starting with the recorded works of Bill Cosby and Woody Allen.

      C) diatribes implies plural.

      If I’ve posted anything that can reasonably be dscribed as a diatribe, it was one.  ANd yes, I acknowledge freely that in as much as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, diatribeyness can be too. And you were meant to feel a sting.  BTW  – I didn’t assault you because you’re stupid. Nor only because you were wrong.   But you were wrong in a way that is dangerous to our country.

      D) I don’t mind having these little gunfights with you. But you should stop showing up with knives.

      E) Yes, as already acknowledged I described you as a misinformed arrogant nutjob.

      Misinformed – as in mistaken or factually incorrect

      Arrogant – as in superior acting

      Nut job- as in when you are the former, the latter is especially noticeable and foolish. When stridently the latter, well insanity is but one of many possibilities. Also, a term of deriding endearment.

      If I don’t address you again before tomorrow morning, Happy Solstice.

      1. And thanks for your original post, a bright spot in my day,  that started to go downhill for other reasons early this morning (before I even read SH’s pettiness).  

  2. Democrap, n. A new government managed scheme that takes more money from Americans in the form of taxes to pay for additional social engineering in the absence of competition.

    1. Republicant, n. A program/war plan that does absolutely nothing but raise taxes and increase government involvement while the proponents cry about how big government is getting.  Usually paired with a random social issue, which will also increase government involvement in citizen’s personal life, to draw attention away.

    2. Republicamnesia, n. The condition of willful forgetfulness about a plutocratic kleptocracy that ginned up intelligence for an expensive war of convenience, embraced torture, drove the economy to the brink of depression and now blames those stuck cleaning up the mess for causing it. Sadly, this is a chronic, recurring condition.

      2. Liberturd, n. Blog handle that appears daily to piss on your progressively bigger government group grope.

        p.s. greatly looking forward to Sirota on Monday a.m., I’m sure he’ll be calling this Senate bill out for what it is …. disgusting.

    1. (so Libertad doesn’t call me out on that again!)

      McGinnis: n. Colorado Republican with supposedly high name recognition despite no one knowing his actual name.

Leave a Comment

Recent Comments


Posts about

Donald Trump
SEE MORE

Posts about

Rep. Lauren Boebert
SEE MORE

Posts about

Rep. Yadira Caraveo
SEE MORE

Posts about

Colorado House
SEE MORE

Posts about

Colorado Senate
SEE MORE

192 readers online now

Newsletter

Subscribe to our monthly newsletter to stay in the loop with regular updates!