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April 06, 2018 01:31 PM UTC

Walker Walls Off Colorado

  • 26 Comments
  • by: Colorado Pols

On Wednesday, a SuperPAC called “Better Colorado Now” kicked off a six-figure television ad buy in support of Republican gubernatorial candidate Walker Stapleton that blows the anti-immigrant dog whistle as soon as the first frame rolls:

 

“Better Colorado Now” is technically not associated with Stapleton’s campaign, though Stapleton himself actually helped to raise money for the SuperPAC right before he “officially” declared as a candidate for Governor.

Look but don’t touch, Kansas

This new TV ad intimates that Stapleton is the “one” Republican candidate for Governor who “supports strengthening our border security,” though it doesn’t bother to explain how the Governor of Colorado would have any power over how the United States deals with its Mexico border.

Come to think of it, the ad also doesn’t specify which border Stapleton would “strengthen.” Perhaps Stapleton envisions walling off Colorado from the rest of the country, which brings up a whole host of new questions.

Do we start by walling off Wyoming and cutting the supply of illegal fireworks into Colorado? If we wall off New Mexico, can we add in a tunnel so that the flow of green chile is not interrupted? Do we need a little corner-sized piece of wall between Colorado and Arizona? Should plans for a wall include a moat with sharks in the water? (nevermind on that last one — obviously we need a shark-infested moat).

Anyway, we thought it would be helpful to poll our readers to give Stapleton an idea of where he should start building his mythical wall. Cast your vote below.

Which state should Colorado wall off first?

Comments

26 thoughts on “Walker Walls Off Colorado

      1. "Who….needs Utah?" Anyone who enjoys Arches, Canyonlands, Bryce, Capitol Reef, and Zion national parks. And once the courts get around to ruling, we should also be able to enjoy Grand Staircase-Escalante and Bears Ears national monuments in their original, intended, sizes.

  1. By far, Kansas is the biggest public health and safety threat. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that there is a caravan of refugees making its way west from Topeka. 

    Thank you, Governor Skidmarks.

          1. Well, there's your answer, Michael. We can build the wall on our eastern border with those toys and solve two problems. I'd suggest building the wall from hemp products, but the people on the other side might feel so deprived of access to hemp and it's medicinal cousin that they would chip off bits of the building material for medicinal/recreational purposes.

  2. Both Better Colorado Now and candidate Walker Stapleton have Katie Kennedy as their registered agent…. Hmmm.. 

    And Katie Kennedy sounds a lot like Cary Kennedy.

    1. C Landry: Katie Kennedy is the registered agent for 100 right wing and Republican astroturf, pop-up groups. Check out TRACER and search her as registered agent. Virtually all of the oil and gas groups, the gun groups, the school "choice" groups, anyone that is pro-corporate and anti- people, pro Republican, pro "Liberty", that group is going to have Katie Kennedy as registered agent.

      Any 527, 503 dark money slush fund Koch sucking drown democracy with dollars group, she'll be the RA. She is a real person, though….with her own company, "Strategic Compliance LLC". She makes Republican world go KaCHING!

      A quick "registered agent" search on TRACER shows KK with 61 active groups , including the Cynthia Coffman for Governor campaign, and 39 inactive groups currently,

      And no, she is no relation to Cary Kennedy. But good luck floating that conspiracy theory.

       

  3. Wouldn't you think the fiscally responsible Republicans would want to hold on to their money until they find out whether the no-longer-backed-by-KKK Stapleton/Bush family representative actually managed to get enough legal signatures to be on the ballot? Or until the non-intoxicating-kind-of-grass roots of the Republican party cast their delegate ballots and make certain WS is on the primary ballot?

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