April 14, 2023 09:54 AM UTC

Join The Elbert County Militia! No Or All Skills Required

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• by: Colorado Pols

We were forwarded this strange advertisement recruiting members for something called “Elbert County Community Response,” being organized to “withstand any challenge that may come” the county’s way–as long as they’re challenges you can address with guns:

The Neighborhood Reliance Network (NRN) is about building strong self-reliant Elbert County neighborhoods. It’s about people – and their friends, families and neighbors – working together to withstand any challenge that may come our way. At the core of many neighborhoods are our faith-based organizations, and they will play a big tole [sic-Pols].

If you’re one of the 27,000 who call wannabe exurban Elbert County home (sorry, but you’ll never be as swanky as DougCo), you should know that the standards for joining the Elbert County Community Response are extremely high. But apprenticeships are available!

Elbert County Community Response (ECCR)

Join no matter your skill level and help protect your community

The ECCR addresses Elbert County safety and security issues. The group is highly trained and competent, and they support and work with all law enforcement agencies. The ECCR group is divided into three tiers:

• Tier 1: Anyone can join; no basic training requirements.

• Tier 2: Additional skills and knowledge are a prerequisite.

• Tier 3: Excellent skills required. This group is highly trained: excellent firearms skills, probable military experience, solid knowledge of the law and good relationships with our county sheriff and law enforcment [sic-Pols].

Obviously, this arrangement gives rise to some questions. Do “Tier 1” militiamen get to carry a gun along with the guys with “excellent firearms skills,” or are they more the coffee-fetching bullet-stopping intern variety of militiaman? And if the whole team is “highly trained and competent,” why does the “Tier 1” rank exist at all? Again, we have to assume it’s about menial errands and, in the unhappy event, cannon fodder.

As for “good relationships” with law enforcement, we’ll just have to see how that holds up when Joe Oltmann’s hanging party comes to town or Rep. Matt Soper starts the second civil war. It’s not a coincidence that the faction of American politics that professes to be the most worried about “civil war” is the only side actually preparing for one.

Or at least dressing the part on the way to get coffee.