September 06, 2012 09:26 PM UTC

In My Spare Time, I'm Into Golf and Prophesying and Stuff

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• by: Colorado Pols

Republican congressional candidate Joe “Not a Beer” Coors has a new ad on television that shows him driving in a car and only kinda watching the road. But nevermind all that, because we’ll never be able to picture Coors in any other way after re-reading this article from The Los Angeles Times.

On Sept. 18, 1988, the Times ran a long profile story on the Coors family titled “Brewing Controversy: Coors Clan: Doing it Their Way.” Featured in the story, of course, is the then 45-year-old Joe Coors, Jr., who comes off as…well…see for yourself:

All five of Joe Coors’ sons, inspired by their mother, Holly, 67, are self-described, “born-again” Christian fundamentalists. Hard core.

The oldest son, Joe Jr., 45, for instance, even lists “Biblical Prophecy” as a hobby, along with golf, on his company resume, and the whole family is awaiting Armageddon, which Joe Jr. believes will occur around the year 2,000.

We know what you’re thinking: Did I just read that correctly?

You did, but here it is again:

The oldest son, Joe Jr., 45, for instance, even lists “Biblical Prophecy” as a hobby, along with golf, on his company resume, and the whole family is awaiting Armageddon, which Joe Jr. believes will occur around the year 2,000.

We were skeptical about recent news from the Coors campaign touting a 9-point lead over incumbent Democratic Rep. Ed Perlmutter, but perhaps it wasn’t polling — maybe ol’ “Not a Beer” was prophesying and God told him that he had a big lead in the polls.

Perhaps Coors’ prophesying on the 2012 election will be more accurate than his prediction that the world would end in the year 2000. He better hurry up and get elected just in case the Mayans are correct and the world ends in December. Joe Coors may be “Not a Beer,” but there’s also a decent chance that he’s “Not All There.”