Proof of life from a reader’s random run-in with Senator Cory Gardner earlier this month at DIA:
Jump-scared.
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Sorry. Can't stop to talk. Gotta grab something to eat, and it's only a 45-minute layover.
Oh! Hey there!!! What healthcare bill?
So, who scheduled this Townhall at DIA?! Hey, where's my back door exit?
"What bag of money???"
"Oh, no — OH DEAR GOD, NO — are you…are you… a constituent?"
"Somebody said I could have this."
“How did you find me? This is my undisclosed location.”
“I paid for these; I just seem to have misplaced the receipts. The clerk in the gift shop will vouch for me.”
"No, this isn't a bag of unmarked bills from the Koch Brothers. Who told you that?"
"It's for medicinal purposes only — I swear! It's my double-detached slipped disc!"
“Quick — look behind you! Isn’t that Mike Coffman getting away?”
“ALEC? Don’t know the man.”
“What, me try to kill ObamaCare? Why, I would never dream of doing such a thing! You must have me confused with someone else. Believe me.”
I went to Congress to destroy the Affordable Care Act and all I came back with was this shitload of baggage that I'm going to have to carry around for the next four years.
Actually, I have found the perfect caption in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DA37ggEqs1k