Conspiracy Theory, Colorado House Republican Style

Statesman columnist and former Colorado legislator Miller Hudson writes about the recent would-be “Star Chamber” proceeding orchestrated by Republicans on the Joint Budget Committee and GOP House leadership to hector Metro State University about their decision to create an affordable category of tuition for undocumented students from Colorado.

For the second time in less than a month, a Republican legislator has expressed their suspicion that Colorado’s leaders are actively colluding with the White House for the express purpose of embarrassing them. It’s enough to make you break out your copy of Richard Hofstader’s famous 1963 essay, The Paranoid Style of American Politics…

This past week Joint Budget Committee Chairwoman Cheri Gerou scheduled a hearing in the old Supreme Court Chambers at the Capitol for the purpose of grilling Metro State President Steve Jordan regarding the decision by his governing board to offer a preferential tuition rate to immigrant students who would be eligible for participation in the federal Dream Act or its Colorado equivalent, the ASSET bill, if either were ever to be approved. She and several of her GOP colleagues were anxious to flog both Metro and Jordan for their audacious usurpation of legislative authority. This Star Chamber proceeding was justified under the guise of a flimsy concern that this policy might negatively affect state budget outlays.

Gerou is a legislator whose self regard visibly swells behind a microphone. She launched her explanation of the hearing’s objective with a snarky remark about Jordan’s recent trip to Washington, D.C., by observing, “…I understand you visited with the President at the White House on Monday?” Jordan promptly corrected her by pointing out that the President was in Los Cabos attending the G-20 meeting, [Pols emphasis] although he gave as good as he got by adding that he would have been delighted to have participated in such a meeting. Gerou was clearly knocked off balance, and stumbled ahead with a lame attempt to link Obama’s announcement the previous Friday that the Department of Homeland Security (INS) would no longer enforce the deportation of students who met the Dream Act criteria with Metro’s decision. It was obvious Gerou could not accept the possibility that Jordan’s visit to Washington was merely a coincidence.

As Miller points out, the same far-fetched conspiracy theorizing prevailed when Speaker Frank McNulty accused Gov. John Hickenlooper of coordinating his call for a special session to deal with civil unions with Barack Obama’s campaign–as if Hickenlooper or Obama could have known that McNulty was going to short-circuit a majority in his own chamber to prevent civil unions from coming up for a vote. In Metro President Stephen Jordan’s case, the “visit to the White House” he was accused of could be debunked by reading the national news.

The first rule of conspiracy theories is they shouldn’t be this debunkable. Next time, Republicans, try space aliens! Nobody can ever disprove aliens appearing out of nowhere on a dark highway to coordinate the nefarious plans of Democrats, with everyone’s favorite icon of alien “coordination,” the anal probe. Bigfoot might work in a pinch, but aliens would naturally be smarter than Bigfoot, more capable of nefariousness–like George Soros himself.

Try it at home, it’s fun!

25 Community Comments, Facebook Comments

  1. ArapaGOPArapaGOP says:

    Rep. Gerou might have strayed a bit asking for those specifics, but I don’t see how you can question the strategic alignment of policy: Obama and tuition for illegals, Obama and homosexual marriage. You would be foolish to suggest that they didn’t know whose policies they were carrying out.

  2. Gray in Mountains says:

    with the Kenyan/Muslim/alien controllers of the Democratic party of late has been to work on Chief Justice John Roberts. Next, Scalia then Alito.  

  3. Craig says:

    Admittedly, Cheri has a weird sense of humor.  That’s why we get along as I have the same sense.  But it is humor.  I’m sure that Cheri heard the outrageous theories of some of her collegues and was making a joke about it.  I’d be interested to hear what the hearing actually was about instead of misconstruing a joke of the chairman.  If there’s not a policy issue here, I don’t know when there is.  The legislature said no.  A state instution subject to the control of the state legislature says yet.  Who’s right.  People want to know. Legislators have a right to know on what basis this action is being taken.  THAT CALLED OVERSIGHT YOU IDIOTS.  

    Cheri’s sense of humor is quirky, no question about it.  She’s not paranoid.  She’s very grounded in reality.  I’ve known  her for 30 years, and I see her on at least a weekly basis.  There’s not a paranoid bone in her body and there’s a lot or reality there, for one of today’s “Republicans.”

    Finally, to tie this to what happened with civil unions and implying that this somehow involves Cheri, well, just low blow.  She did the right thing, even at possible great political cost to her.  You know the right-wing is gunning for her.  Right now they’re trying to get McNulty to remove her from joint budget and put her on agriculture.  Really.  Miller Husdon was always an ass and you guys are too for even printing this tript.

    • Gilpin Guy says:

      that every time a Republican says something stupid it is supposed to be construed as a joke or they somehow misspoke?

      Coffman telling a Republicans only gathering that Obama isn’t a REAL American.

      Geissler telling a Republicans only gathering that the best election outcome is a total Republican victory.

      How many times to we have to hear the spin that Republicans were just joking around.

      Democratic politicians on the other hand are always nefarious bastards whenever they open their mouths.  Obama comparing the plight of the public sector is suddenly quoted (or misquoted and taken out of context) and vilified for saying that the “private sector is doing fine”.

      Maybe Gerou was making a funny but Republican viciousness and false sense of outrage says probably not.

    • Someone said yesterday afternoon that Rep. Gerou has a great sense of humor. Someone said a couple of months ago that exGov. Romney is quite the prankster.

      Those uproarious Repugnicons–just one laff riot after another, aren’t they. Someone said.

  4. parsingreality says:

    Once upon a time the city in question would have been Moscow.

    Now it’s the destination of school kids visiting the nation’s capital, or a legislator.

    Effin’ idiots.

  5. Half Glass FullHalf Glass Full says:

    “I understand” that Cheri Gerou recently met with Kim Jong Un, and that the two shared a tete-a-tete in his Pyongyang hot tub while discussing how to get Mitt Romney into the White House so he can outsource Colorado jobs to North Korea.

    Hey, you’re right, Coloradopols! This IS fun! You don’t need facts: just put “I understand” in the front, and you can say whatever B.S. you want!  

  6. Half Glass FullHalf Glass Full says:

    Cheri Gerou recently drove on Colorado Boulevard: the exact same street where Shotgun Willie’s is located!

    Why does Cheri Gerou support strip clubs?

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