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He Said "Touchy"

by: Colorado Pols

Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 11:44:02 AM MST

As the Grand Junction Sentinel reports:

Masturbating in public should be more than just a petty offense, Rep. Steve King said Wednesday.
That's why the Grand Junction Republican introduced a bill into the Colorado Legislature to make the law clear when a person should be charged with public indecency.
King, who said the Colorado District Attorneys' Council approached him about the matter, said the point behind the measure is to distinguish public indecency from other crimes that are not sexual in nature, such as streaking or urinating in public...
King said he knows he's likely to be the brunt of numerous jokes around the statehouse, but public indecency is a serious subject.
"This is a touchy subject," King said, laughing at his unintended pun. "Because of a focus on sexual crimes of children, it's important to get the law right. But those who make the bad choice of urinating in public in an alley after a night of drinking, that's not a sexual crime, and people shouldn't be charged that way."

Joking aside for just a moment, Rep. Steve King is right that more clearly sexual offenses in public should be handled differently from, for example, Boulder's annual Pumpkin Run or Sen. Shawn Mitchell's high school indiscretions. And with that, we're back to the joking.

Colorado Pols :: He Said "Touchy"

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He Said "Touchy" | 28 comments

Jokes aside, I'm glad that Rep. King is bringing this up

I may not have a very high opinion of King as a legislator, but I think he's right on this issue. People shouldn't be put on the sexual offenders registry for getting caught relieving themselves in park--is it disgusting? No doubt. But it doesn't warrant being put on the same list as child rapists.

Okay, back to the jokes: if public masturbation becomes a felony, won't all the bloggers have to retire?

by: redstateblues @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 18:50:20 PM UTC

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As a constituent of Rep King

This is 20 percent of the bill he can introduce in the session.

I would rather have seen King use his five bills to benefit District 54.

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 18:54:25 PM UTC

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That makes sense

by: redstateblues @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 18:58:22 PM UTC

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Maybe we have

more per capita offenders downtown or Lincoln Park. Or is Lincoln Park in District 55?

If you're not upset, you haven't been paying attention. Mike Littwin

by: Ellie @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:19:41 PM UTC

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Which district

does speedo man live in?

"They aren't the screamers on the far left bashing the President for going soft or the screechers on the far right who like to hear themselves...well screech for want of a better word about gloom and doom." -Ellie
"Don't think for one moment, under the current leadership that we have, if we retain this leadership, that you're not next in line" -Scott McInnis

by: WesternSlopeThought @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:32:23 PM UTC

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Ask a serious question...

with a person's name and I'll tell you if I can.

If you're not upset, you haven't been paying attention. Mike Littwin

by: Ellie @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:46:30 PM UTC

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Hell, I don't know his name

but he gets plenty of press as "Speedo man".

by: WesternSlopeThought @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:51:51 PM UTC

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I know his name

But I won't publish it here. Shoot me an email.

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:57:25 PM UTC

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Is Speedo Man back in town?

I heard he skedaddled a while ago

"There are a lot of reasons not to elect me." Mitt Romney in a moment of clarity

"I'm Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that's also my first name," Willard Mitt Romney demonstrating 'policy flexibility.'

by: ClubTwitty @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 00:09:31 AM UTC

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Gogle says he's dead.

n/t

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 02:15:00 AM UTC

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that would be Google, of course.

n/t

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 02:15:56 AM UTC

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It's in 55.

Precinct 57.

Besides, I heard Speedo-Man has died.

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:56:49 PM UTC

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Yeah, just googled him

there are reports that he died.

by: WesternSlopeThought @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 20:04:51 PM UTC

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Oh, respects

GJ needs people like Speedo Man

"There are a lot of reasons not to elect me." Mitt Romney in a moment of clarity

"I'm Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that's also my first name," Willard Mitt Romney demonstrating 'policy flexibility.'

by: ClubTwitty @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 00:10:31 AM UTC

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How many District 54 residents

are arrested each year for urinating in public? The bill would benefit them, so in a way, a case can be made that this bill benefits the district.

by: OneEyedOwl @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 21:20:56 PM UTC

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I guess you're right

This MUST be a good bill for District 54 after all.

Next question: wasn't there something BETTER to justify one of his five bills?

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 21:24:34 PM UTC

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How about defecating in public?

So long as you don't light it on fire -- that'd be a felony in Greeley.

by: RedGreen @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 22:34:39 PM UTC

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Would a guy be guilty for

you know, adjusting?

by: BlueCat @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 18:52:56 PM UTC

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I'm glad he's got time for this...

...because he bailed from the Vets Court Bill committee as soon as he got to ask one stupid question.

"The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten." Calvin Coolidge

by: SSG_Dan @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:08:55 PM UTC

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The Sentinel headline on the story, I kid you not.

``King seeks stiffer penalty for lewdness.''

Sometimes, I guess, you have to let the inner bitch out.

by: gertie97 @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 19:16:13 PM UTC

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The headline writers must have had a good time with that one.

by: OneEyedOwl @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 21:22:01 PM UTC

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stiffer penalty for pubic lewdness

You're just asking for a typo with a headline like that.

by: RedGreen @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 22:36:38 PM UTC

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Good law, bad jokes

"Masturbating in public should be more than just a petty offense"

I'm a little dyslexic and first thought this said masturbating should be a "petting" offense.

But all jokes aside, I hope this bill goes through. People urinating or simply sunbathing should not be in the same category with sexual predators.

It may have been more efficient to include this in a general criminal law clarification bill with other topics, but that would be nit-picking.

Retirement in action does not equal retirement of beliefs.

by: Dan Willis @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 22:28:00 PM UTC

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I read the bill

I'm still not sure how many shakes you get.

by: WesternSlopeThought @ Thu Feb 11, 2010 at 23:37:39 PM UTC

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The DAs won't run omnibus crime bills

Ever since the year I "hi-jacked" the DA Council's omnibus criminal law bill with the addition of hate crimes protections for LGBT and people with disabilities they now bring discrete, single topic bills with tight titles.

I'm the Senate sponsor of this bill with Rep. King, and it does fix some things in current law that miss the target. "Streaking" or getting caught urinating in public should not result in a requirement to register as a sex offender, but that can happen under current law, while we miss those with more sinister intentions.

I'm fully aware of the snickers and jokes people will make about this bill, but it's a needed solution.

http://bit.ly/b5pMEC

by: pat steadman @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 02:43:06 AM UTC

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I live in District 54

King has five bills. He chose to carry this one.

If you're going to defend the bill, please tell my why it's more important to District 54 than, say, jobs.

Today, you're either going to get better or you're going to get worse, but you're never going to be the same. Which one will it be? --Joseph V. Paterno

by: Ralphie @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 03:02:56 AM UTC

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5 bills

I have no idea why Rep. King chose to carry this bill as one of his five. Who knows, maybe the DA in his area asked him to. Maybe there was a case in his district that showed the need for it. Maybe he got caught peeing in some not-entirely-private bushes. I simply don't know.

Supporting a bill because it is good for the state as a whole is what I would expect of my legislator. If it benefits the whole state then that includes my district, and yours.

The job of the legislators is to address every issue that needs addressed, not just the headline items of the day. That means someone has to take up the smaller issues too.

Retirement in action does not equal retirement of beliefs.

by: Dan Willis @ Mon Feb 15, 2010 at 19:22:44 PM UTC

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As long as it applies equally to women in public.....

May I watch?

Ouch, ouch, ouch......

"Politics determines who has the power, not who has the truth." Paul Krugman, 9/2010

by: parsingreality @ Fri Feb 12, 2010 at 04:47:22 AM UTC

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